


N-N-Not funny

by DeVloer



Category: Hermitcraft RPF
Genre: Angst, Bdubs just not havin a good time, Crying, Emotional Hurt, Hurt, Hurt No Comfort, Might add a comfort chapter, Other, Panic Attacks, Self-Hatred, Stuttering, Tags arent really that good and might change, but I needed a break from my long story I am writin, if Im up for it, its a light one, its really not that good, sorta - Freeform, tango hurt my boy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2020-07-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:42:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25421836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeVloer/pseuds/DeVloer
Summary: Bdubs stuttersAnd he hates itEspecially when others make fun of him for it
Relationships: None
Comments: 15
Kudos: 128





	N-N-Not funny

Bdubs was a confident person.

He was strong-minded, and never hesitated to loudly spread his opinions. For some people, he was even too much, and he could always tell when he needed to quiet down and be a bit less present. But for the people that were close to him, he could go all out and be as wild as he wanted to.

Sure, he had flaws. Sometimes he overworked, or sometimes he didn't give someone enough time to talk because he was too caught up in his own story. He knew these flaws, and always tried to notice what he was doing in time and take a step back. Sometimes he failed, but his friends would quickly be there beside him to remind him.

There was one flaw, though, that Bdubs could not change, no matter how much he wanted to. And he absolutely despised it.

It was his stutter.

If he was telling a story and got excited, his mouth would just uncoördinate with his brain and jumble all his words together. It was the absolute worst, when he had to stop three times before his sentence even started just because nothing sensible was coming out. 

Most hermits luckily were patient enough to just wait until he managed to get the words out, but sometimes when he was really struggling, some would jokingly point it out or even laugh at him.

Bdubs knew it was all in good fun, and could even find the humor in it, laughing along with them. But when he was actually trying to get a point across and just couldn't, it was no longer funny to hear them giggle and disregard him.

Which is where he was now.

Bdubs sighed, listening to Xisuma who was excitedly telling the group about the time he pranked the server back in season six by putting pufferfish everywhere.

He and Xisuma, along with Grian, Keralis, Tango, and xbCrafted were sitting inside one of Keralis' construction builds. A cup of coffee (or tea for Grian and Xisuma) was sitting in their hands and the six of them were just chatting up about the latest news.

"It was hilarious! I got so many confused text messages, Ren even though it was a glitch!" Xisuma said, giggling.

"God I remember it," Grian said, putting his cup down. "He had put in my shipwreck underneath a trapdoor, took me almost ten minutes to find it.

Xb snickered. "Boy, I'm glad I wasn't there to see it. I hate pufferfish with a passion."

"Me too." Bdubs spoke up, leaning back in his chair. "Who would have gue-guessed those cute little fishes have so- such- had such venom in them."

"You think they're cute?!" Tango shot up. "One minute their little hedgehogs and then boom! A blown-up balloon with spikes! That ain't cute!"

Bdubs let out a laugh. "Well, y-y' know they're-they're just defending themselves! H-How-How would you feel when- if- if a giant suddenly came swimming up to you."

Tango giggled before shrugging. "Fair point, fair point."

They continued talking and laughing, the conversation taking wild turns. At some point, Bdubs couldn't remember why, Tango started impersonating people. 

He started with Xisuma's strange British accent, saying the usual "achachawood" and "chutorial", making the admin's cheeks red with embarrassment. Then he imitated Iskall's accent, having Grian nearly in tears. Bdubs was laughing along just as loudly, holding this stomach as he was cramping up.

"Alright guys, guess who I'm doing now," Tango said, making the others look up as he cleared his throat. "Eh-eh-eh g-g-guys, I-I ca-can't sp-sp-sp-speak-speak nor-nor-normally-ly."

For a second, Bdubs was confused and didn't understand the joke. But then, as the others around him burst out laughing, he felt his face heat up as he figured out the joke was about him.

His stutter. His stupid, uncontrollable stutter. That's what they were laughing about. They were laughing at the fact he stumbled over his words. That he couldn't talk properly.

A wave of anger washed over him and he balled his fists.

"It's not like I can help it!" He yelled out, nearly making the others flinch. Their smiles instantly dropped when they noticed his fury, instead turning into frowns.

Tango furrowed his eyebrows together. "I didn't mean to make you mad, Bdubs. I was just joking."

Bdubs felt embarrassment at his outburst and quickly averted his eyes to the ground, crossing his arms. "It's n-not funny."

Cringing at his small stutter, he felt his eyes prickling with tears as both the anger and awkwardness of the situation caught up to him. God, no wonder Tango made fun of him. Not only could he not stop stuttering, but he was also a huge crybaby.

A dark cloud of tension hung above them as no one knew what to say. Bdubs dug his nails in his palm. He caused this, why couldn't he have just laughed with them instead of throwing a hissy fit about his own f*cking flaw?

A tear rolled down his cheek.

"Bubbles-"

"I'm leaving." He turned his back to the others and speed-walked away. He refused to let the others see him like this over a stupid joke. It was dumb, his stutter was dumb, he was dumb.

Spamming rockets, he promptly fled the building. The others tried calling out for him, but he ignored them until he couldn't hear them anymore.

His vision was blurry as more and more tears fell down. Why was he such a terrible human being? He couldn't even speak, it was a wonder how any of the hermits managed to befriend him. 

He could've been bad at juggling, he'd be fine with that. No one would have judged him if he was a bad juggler. Why did the universe have to burden him with this curse instead?

Bdubs could barely see in front of him, and only until the last second saw the window of Keralis' skyscraper just a few feet away from his vision. His breath got stuck in his throat and he straightened himself up, launching up in the air.

Missing the glass by just a few hairs, he got up on the roof and landed there, letting out a few pants. More tears slipped out, and he sobbed.

He hates his stutter. He hates himself.

Closing in on himself, Bdubs lets out more sobs and buried his face in his knees. Time passed as he cried, the cold wind breezing past him and making him shiver. No one could see him now, he was weak. stupid. Nothing but a stuttering idiot.

Just a stuttering idiot.

**Author's Note:**

> So when I started watching Bdubs' video I sometimes noticed he had a bit of a stutter in the beginning of his sentences.
> 
> Guess who has two thumbs and also has a stutter? Ya boy. So I wrote this and made it nice and angsty because no one stopped me. Tbh I just needed a small break from my super big story
> 
> (Also yes I know his stutter isn't as bad I portrayed it in here, but shush I do what I want I need DRAMATIC EFFECT OKAY)


End file.
